Posted in Caregivers, change, hallucinations, health, care, caregiver, chronic disease, Healthcare, Hospice, medications, Parkinson's Disease, sleep

The Story of Two Advocates

My goal for this blog has always been to encourage and support those who care for a loved one with a chronic or degenerative disease such as Parkinson’s Disease.

And today I would like to do just that by encouraging you to be an advocate for your loved one, especially when they cannot or will not speak for themselves.

That word “advocate” can be a noun or a verb. Here are the 2 definitions from google.com:

noun – a person who publicly supports or recommends a particular cause or policy.

verb – to publicly recommend or support.

Just yesterday it took 5 phone calls by me and 2 trips to the pharmacy by my daughter to accomplish one little thing – a prescription that my husband desperately needed.

For the past 2 nights he has slept only 3 hours before insisting on getting up. This was the result of a lack of one prescription that had been ordered 4 days prior. Yet it had not arrived. So, I refused to believe I had to spend another night with just 3 hours of sleep. I put on my “advocate” hat and just did not give up!

Everyone at the office of the Hospice Company now knows my name, and some of them probably have a not-so-nice nickname for me, but if that is what it takes to accomplish my goal of a good night’s sleep, so be it.

As caregivers, we choose our battles. We must decide what cause is important enough to call 5 times in one day to get it, and to drive to the pharmacy and wait 30 minutes, only to get the wrong drug and need to do it all over again.

Being an advocate is sometimes hard work, and we never know when we might be called on to fight for our loved one’s well-being. Sometimes we feel like unsung heroes, but we do make a difference in someone’s life.

If this topic seems familiar, it could be because I wrote about it in February of 2020. The topic was the same, but the occasion was different. Feel free to check it out in the archive of blogs.

Have you had to advocate for your loved one? I would love to hear your story.

The Bible says that Jesus Christ is our advocate to God the Father in that Jesus paid our sin debt. (I John 2:1-2) Jesus is our Redeemer, our Savior, our Hero. None of us is perfect, and in order to have a relationship with a perfect God, we must have our sins forgiven. That was accomplished by the death of Jesus on the cross, and it was finished when Jesus arose on Easter Sunday, which we just celebrated.

Have you placed your trust in Jesus as your advocate? If you want to know more about how to do this, please send me an email and I would be happy to explain more.

Author:

I'm a retired mathematics teacher, wife, mother, and grandmother. My new job is caregiver to my husband.

9 thoughts on “The Story of Two Advocates

  1. Oh, Cheryl, how I empathize! Every time Steve goes into rehab or in the hospital for surgery (5 surgeries in 10 years due to rheumatoid arthritis) trying get someone to bring the right food (type 1 diabetic), bring him an insulin shot, change his urine bag before it spills over, or give him the right meds on time, has been a polite but insistent battle.

    I try to remember that he is just one of many patients for an already overworked staff, but as was the case when went to rehab after shoulder surgery last year, a particular CNA stayed on her cellphone sitting in the secluded hallway outside Steve’s room while he sat on a soaking wet bed or was left to fend for himself when he needed anything at all. Therefore, I personally bathed him, changed his clothes, shaved him, cut up his food and fed him, and fetch snacks for him when his glucose ran too low, and many other things for those two frustrating weeks. If I hadn’t been there most of the day, I doubt he’d have come out alive.

    I am a non-confrontational person so it was agonizing for me to try to communicate with this CNA without getting angry. Steve wouldn’t let me report her so things went from bad to worse because I started doing more and more for Steve.

    Had I to do it over, I would have prayed, taken a deep breath, and then talked with her about Steve’s many health conditions. Had that not helped, I should have gone to her supervisor and politely complained. If necessary, I would have made a nuisance of myself by going back again and again. My husband’s life depended on good care.

    Just hoping someone reads this and learns from my silence. We have to politely but insistently speak up even if we might have a resulting conflict of opinions.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, Katherine. You make so many great points. Speaking up isn’t always easy, and it won’t make us popular, but it is the right thing to do (respectfully) when it comes to the care of our loved ones.

      Like

  2. It’s so important to teach our children to be self-advocates so that they do not get lost in the shuffle at school or in life. Our children have become very skilled at this and have received some amazing rewards for their efforts.

    However, THE ADVOCATE that we all need to know is Jesus, because He knows exactly what we need & how to accomplish it!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. You sure do hit on such important topics, Cheryl. My friend who had her PhD in special needs always told me that I was Aaron’s main, and BEST, advocate. It’s hard sometimes. My husband and I really had to advocate for Aaron when he was in a particular school here years ago because of their mistreatment of him. Then again when he was verbally and physically abused in a special needs agency. Thankfully, the past few years have been easier and quieter but we still must be there for him in many ways. I love how you related this to our BEST advocate, Jesus. I hadn’t thought about that in relation to what we do for Aaron, and how Jesus does that for me with our heavenly Father. Thank you for another wonderful blog, and how you are always a blessing.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. So true, Cheryl. There are times when we just shouldn’t give up! I’m glad the Lord gives you the strength to know when you should keep fighting. And hope that he will help make it necessary that you won’t have to battle for things that should go more smoothly!

    Liked by 2 people

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