I AM ENOUGH

Sometimes while caring for someone with a degenerative disease, we have occasion to doubt ourselves. To think we are the wrong person for the job. To think God must have made a mistake – surely someone else could do better. After all, we are so imperfect.

Our loved one is not getting better. (We knew they wouldn’t, but somehow, we expected them to improve since we are giving such good care!) And there are times when they do seem better. They will have good days interspersed between the bad days. It really doesn’t help that it seems we are on a roller coaster!

When a new symptom appears, we are tempted to cry, “Great! One more thing I get to do. Something new to worry about. Don’t I have enough symptoms on my plate to try to mitigate?” And there will be more symptoms soon, and after that – more symptoms. That’s the way of a degenerative disease.

And just when we think we have reached an even keel with one symptom, it flairs back up again. The most annoying problem for us during Parkinson’s was the constipation/diarrhea rollercoaster. As soon as we overcame constipation, it seemed like Carlton would have one good day, and then diarrhea hit. It was a constant pendulum swing. This was his Achilles Heel, so it seemed.

Others may find falling to be a problem. And once you have removed all obstacles, found good shoes for them to wear, placed the walker or cane close by, they might go a day or 2 with no falls, and then they fall and break a bone, causing more problems for everyone.

As caregivers we doubt ourselves and think, is this my fault? Did I leave him alone too long? Did I leave that box in the way that he tripped over? Did I forget to remind him to use the walker? I must be a bad caregiver.

Self-doubt creeps into our minds, and the questioning begins all over. Instead of listening to those negative voices, it helps to ask ourselves just one simple question: did I do everything in MY power to help him/her?

If the answer is yes, we must push every negative thought away and remember that we are enough. We have done all we could in each situation. We are not perfect, we are not medically trained, and we are not super-human. We did the best we could. We are enough.

Let’s hold our heads up high and be proud of the work we have done to help our loved ones. We have sacrificed our time and our future, and we are giving all we have.

We are enough! God has equipped us with the strength and determination to care for our loved ones, and let’s keep the self-doubt away. Let’s replace those negative thoughts with thankfulness to God for His help in every situation, every day, and every obstacle we face.

Thanks for reading and commenting. Feel free to email me if I can help you in any way.

cherylcaregiver71@gmail.com

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