Sometimes while caring for someone with a degenerative disease, we have occasion to doubt ourselves. To think we are the wrong person for the job. To think God must have made a mistake – surely someone else could do better. After all, we are so imperfect.

Our loved one is not getting better. (We knew they wouldn’t, but somehow, we expected them to improve since we are giving such good care!) And there are times when they do seem better. They will have good days interspersed between the bad days. It really doesn’t help that it seems we are on a roller coaster!

When a new symptom appears, we are tempted to cry, “Great! One more thing I get to do. Something new to worry about. Don’t I have enough symptoms on my plate to try to mitigate?” And there will be more symptoms soon, and after that – more symptoms. That’s the way of a degenerative disease.

And just when we think we have reached an even keel with one symptom, it flairs back up again. The most annoying problem for us during Parkinson’s was the constipation/diarrhea rollercoaster. As soon as we overcame constipation, it seemed like Carlton would have one good day, and then diarrhea hit. It was a constant pendulum swing. This was his Achilles Heel, so it seemed.

Others may find falling to be a problem. And once you have removed all obstacles, found good shoes for them to wear, placed the walker or cane close by, they might go a day or 2 with no falls, and then they fall and break a bone, causing more problems for everyone.

As caregivers we doubt ourselves and think, is this my fault? Did I leave him alone too long? Did I leave that box in the way that he tripped over? Did I forget to remind him to use the walker? I must be a bad caregiver.

Self-doubt creeps into our minds, and the questioning begins all over. Instead of listening to those negative voices, it helps to ask ourselves just one simple question: did I do everything in MY power to help him/her?

If the answer is yes, we must push every negative thought away and remember that we are enough. We have done all we could in each situation. We are not perfect, we are not medically trained, and we are not super-human. We did the best we could. We are enough.

Let’s hold our heads up high and be proud of the work we have done to help our loved ones. We have sacrificed our time and our future, and we are giving all we have.

We are enough! God has equipped us with the strength and determination to care for our loved ones, and let’s keep the self-doubt away. Let’s replace those negative thoughts with thankfulness to God for His help in every situation, every day, and every obstacle we face.

Thanks for reading and commenting. Feel free to email me if I can help you in any way.



Published by parkinsonscare

I'm a retired mathematics teacher, mother, and grandmother. I cared for my husband for 23 years, and now he is in Heaven. My new mission in life is to support and encourage caregivers like you!

22 thoughts on “I AM ENOUGH

  1. Thanks for the reminder that the Holy Spirit guides me daily with strength, wisdom and ability. And we can always lean in and ask for a little more when needed! Thank you, Cheryl! Thank you, God!


  2. Thank you Cheryl for your wisdom. This email came at a perfect time for me as it was 7 months yesterday that Bob went to heaven and all those doubting thoughts were going thru my head.you are so appreciated, Deb chance

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Oh, Deb, I feel your pain. It’s been nearly a year for me, so I totally understand. We did well, caring for our spouses, didn’t we? I’m so thankful that we had the opportunity. Email me when you get the chance and tell me how you’re doing, how you’re filling your days and nights. God bless you!


  4. Very inspirational, Cheryl. Thanks. I tell myself often when I think things are not quite right that no one else is stepping up to the plate. And I usually worry about doing too much instead of not enough. My Cheryl tells me when I am hovering too close.
    In God’s latest move he has given her a case of shingles to deal with. So far she doesn’t seem too annoyed by it and it looks to me like it is clearing up.
    … behind the scenes with other’s highlight reels… — good comment!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Thanks for the comments, my friend. And I am so sorry to hear about the shingles. But I’m glad your Cheryl is not too annoyed by them!
    Hang in there. You are enough! You have stepped up and are going the distance. Good to hear from you.


  6. Cheryl. your care for Carlton through those long years makes your wise words ring heart-to-heart true and affirming for any weary and discouraged caregiver. God bless you.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I know that God doesn’t make mistakes, so He must have known with His help I can do this. I have to stop and remind myself to breathe. When I get stressed out with his new behaviors or combativeness, I forget to breathe. Breathing deeply and reminding myself that “this too shall pass” and thank God for allowing me to have him still at home. I might change my thought to “I am enough”. Thank you for your calmness in our lives.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. You are so right, my friend. Just breathe. You are enough, and God has equipped you with exactly what you need for this journey. Don’t forget to ask for help when you need it. I am an email or phone call away!


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